Unwanted Forgiveness
by AriaChronos
Summary: Around Axess. Perhaps this is old thing already, but please read and review. Suck at summaries
1. The loneliness

_This is Axess thing. If you read it then you will know which chapter. Perhaps this is old thing already. _

Enzan's POV

This night is very lonely, the most lone night I ever have. Well, it's just me and only myself, in this room like always. But you're not here, Blues. And I was the one who caused it.

I still don't believe what I've done today. I've done what I should not do, but I had no choice back then. Blues, I've sacrificed you, to save everyone and myself.

I don't want to betray anyone, yet I don't want any failure. I—no—we all know the consequences if we fail to stop the bad ones. Being weak is so frustrated, more frustrated if we know that only one way for us to win against evil, yet we're forbidden to do it. But Rockman, your blue friend, begged his Operator to install the forbidden Dark Chip. Netto, he was struggling on his mind, and finally he raised the chip, ready to insert it. My body reacted by itself, I took the Dark Chip, and…I…I used it on you. I couldn't believe I would do such thing. Yeah, finally we could beat Shadowman, but…then you…left me.

Like I said before, I don't want to betray anyone and I don't want any failure. Netto and Rockman, are very close friends. If at that time I didn't stop him, he would feel more painful than I am now. Because of Netto, I realized that Navi wasn't just data, but precious partner. But now, I just realize how precious you are for me, Blues.

Blues, we've been together since I was kid. You were only one who was care about me when my own parent wasn't. Because of you, I didn't feel total loneliness. You always tried your best to accomplish what I wanted.

Yet I can't repay your effort at all. Even I sold you to evil! What a dumb person I was! I knew…that I had no choice. But…but that doesn't change the fact that I've played you like tools, tools that can be replaced by anything.

I'm sorry, Blues, I'm really sorry. I can't do anything good for you, my precious friend. Even I beg you, just don't give any forgiveness to me…

_Review, and please correct any of my grammar^^_


	2. Not good enough

(Dark) Blues POV

I didn't know what was the meaning of be powerful. I didn't know what power for. Most people said I was strong, but all I did was doing what Enzan-sama told me.

But one thing for sure, now I know how hate I am for being weak and powerless. Just like when I and Rockman were overpowered by Shadowman. We knew very well what would happen if we didn't stop him, so I didn't want any failure. And the only way to do that was…I didn't ever want to think about it.

But then we had no choice, we had to do it. I saw Rockman begged his Operator to use Dark Chip. His Operator refused of course, but he was struggling because of the situation. For myself, I couldn't imagine if Rockman got corrupted.

Then Enzan-sama did it. For the sake of his friend, he grabbed the Dark Chip and used it on me.

We NetNavis are data, what have installed on us is part of us. In other words we are what have been put on our data. So at the moment, the Dark Power became part of me, and I was no longer Blues that my friends knew. I'm Dark Blues. It wasn't Enzan-sama's fault, it's my fault.

Like I said before, we NetNavis are what we've been made for. But, we have hearts. Yes, we can cry, laugh, and angry because of emotion data, but no one can decide when we should laugh or cry or angry, it's our own. Even if I'm Dark Blues now, deep inside my heart I still have Enzan-sama. My loyal is for him and only for him. That's why I don't blame him for turning me into evil.

But…that doesn't change the fact that I'm not good enough for you, Enzan-sama. I can't accomplish what you want me to do, I'm such useless Navi. For years I've tried my best, gotten stronger and stronger, it was all for you. But…I think it's not good enough.

I'm sorry, Enzan-sama, from the bottom of my heart. Even if I beg you, please don't give me any forgiveness…

_Read and review. Tell me if you're confused by the sentences._


	3. Only want to say sorry

_I forgot to mention this before. I don't own this anime_

_I thought I would stop at Chapter 2, but I realized I couldn't leave it as tragic fic. So I added more 2 chapters with nice ending. ^ ^_

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Enzan knew that he didn't deserve any forgiveness from Blues. After what he had done, how would Blues forgive him? Blues was _living being_, not just data.

But because Blues was his closest friend, of course he wouldn't let him fall deeper into darkness. He would save him, and what was more, he wanted to see Blues once again.

_Even it is for last time, I only want to see you, to say sorry and goodbye. _

So he already planned to take Blues back all by himself. He really appreciated all his friends' effort. But this was between him and Blues, no one should interfere. Deep inside his heart, he was grateful that Blues had many friends and they all treasured him. To mention that Netto was so eager to save Blues, for Enzan's sake.

_I before thought I only wanted to see you. I would save you, and after that I would give you to be operated by someone else. But it's different now. I realize how much I need you. I want you to back at my side once again._

_Just wait, I'll save you soon._

_..._

Dark Blues was alone at Darkloid Headquarter. Every Darkloids had their own business when they had free time, and even Laserman wouldn't care as long as they didn't act suspicious. As for Blues, when he was alone, it was time for _crying_. He didn't visually cry, it was his true self that buried deep inside sobbing, regretting all things. Ever since he joined Darkloid, he couldn't have any happiness.

That day, he just returned after finishing mission Laserman gave him. "Laserman-sama, I've returned," he kneeled down.

"Yeah I know it. And I saw you encounter NetSavior again," said Laserman. "But you gave them the best lesson they ever got. Good job."

"Yes."

"You're Darkloid, the best Darkloid I ever have. You're no longer dumb NetSavior. So next time, just kill them."

"Yes," Dark Blues smiled evilly.

_So I can't go back at any way. I can't go back to Enzan-sama. I can't go back…I'll be Darkloid forever…_

Blues was sobbing mentally. After few encounters with Enzan, he already thought that Enzan wouldn't ever forgive him, for all trouble his 'body' caused. Even Rockman, his best partner, probably wouldn't accept him anymore. He knew very well about Rockman, but as melancholy Navi, he couldn't help to think that way.

_I wish when I meet them again, they will just defeat me and delete me. I don't want Darkloid to success anyway._

He thought it would be better, for his friends and entire world.

_But why am I still crying now?_

Scared of deletion? No, he wasn't typical of Navi that wouldn't take that risk. Scared of his 'body' causing any more trouble? Perhaps, but he wouldn't cry for it. Scared of being called 'killer', 'bad Navi', or 'criminal'? No, wouldn't be it. Before this, he along with Enzan was called 'strong but arrogant' NetBattlers. It was neither bad nor good label. But they didn't care about it.

_Enzan-sama…_ He shook his head mentally, trying to forget that name.

_So why am I crying this bad?_

He didn't know why. But one thing for sure, he was sad and scared of something. But scared of what? Before he could find the answer, Laserman called him.

"It seemed that SciLab developed their own Dimensional Generator," said Laserman. "Go and destroy it before it causes any trouble for us."

"Yes, Laserman-sama," Dark Blues stood up and teleported.

_I wish this was my last battle with them…_

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_Read and review will be great _


	4. Tell me your true feelings

_I don't own Rockman anime. This is final chapter of Unwanted Forgiveness_

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Dark Blues was on the way to the abandoned hotel. Even he was in middle of mission, his true heart was still crying hard. Blues was confused why he was this sad.

When he engaged in battle with Netto and Rockman, he postponed his sobbing for a moment. Dark Blues was so eager to kill them and finish his mission.

_Just delete me…Rockman_.

Blues sobbed once more, when the Vaccine Chip failed to save him. He was bit glad however, everyone was still care about him and wanting to save him.

_I can't go back…to Enzan-sama._

He didn't realize Enzan was watching his battle. He only reacted when Enzan jumped and cross-fused with his 'tainted body'. For one second, he looked straight from his visor to the face. The face he longed to see one more time, he treasured most.

Enzan's fear really came true. The Vaccine Chip didn't strong enough to get rid the Dark Chip. He wasn't sure what to do for a moment. At that time, he saw something on Dark Blues.

_I see it, it comes from Dark Blues. It's you, Blues, really you. You…you are crying, crying really loud. I've never seen you crying before. But I knew, even you didn't look like it, you always cried because of my selfishness. I'm sorry, Blues, for making you sad all time. I'm not sure if you can forgive me, but I'm going to save you now. So, don't cry anymore._

With all might, he jumped and inserted his Synchro Chip to his PET. If he saw Blues was sad, he would come to his side, pat his back, and tell him nice words to comfort him. That was what he would do. "Sychro Chip, slot in!"

Dark Blues was facing Enzan at their emotion world. Blues was still sobbing like before. However, he was glad to see Enzan once more. But his fear grew again as Enzan walked closer to him, terrifying his 'body'. When Dark Blues scared that Enzan might hurt him, Blues was worried Enzan would get hurt.

_Don't come any closer, Enzan-sama!_

_..._

Enzan just realized how important Blues to him. He thought that he wasn't good enough to be Blues' Operator. But…seeing him crying, Enzan was torn apart. When he hauled the body with both of his hands, he tried to reach Blues.

_Blues, Blues, this is me. I came to save you._

_Enzan-sama, please go away. I'm Darkloid now and I'm not deserved to be forgave by you. Please just leave me or delete me. I don't deserve any forgiveness._

Enzan was surprised by those words. He didn't know Blues felt the same feelings like him. The thought about unwanted forgiveness, haunted his heart before.

Enzan realized, it was really _unwanted forgiveness._ What they wanted, wasn't feeling of sorry or regret. What they really wanted was…

_Nothing should be forgive, Blues. _Enzan said mentally, he started to sob as well. _You aren't low-level criminal like Darkloid. Blues, you are…Navi who always hides his expression behind his visor. The cold Navi but very kind. The one who always try his best for me. My very best friend…it's you._

Those words were able to light Blues' broken feelings. By that time, he realized why he cried so hard before. He was scared of something. He was scared of being left by Enzan-sama and his friends. He didn't want them to leave him alone. He realized that he wanted to go back so bad.

_Maybe I'm not good Operator for you, but I will try my best from now on. That's why, don't tell me to leave you or kill you_. _Tell me…tell me your true feeling!_

_I…_Blues' voice was shaking. He hesitated at first, but then everything came out. _I want to go back to you, Enzan-sama. I want to be at your side…even it's for last time. _Blues' voice was full of sadness but relief at same time.

_Yes Blues._

_..._

Enzan, very exhausted, looked to Blues' face at his PET. "Welcome home, Blues."

"Thanks, Enzan-sama."

"Blues, I'm really sorry. All these days must be hard for you."

Blues shook his head. "Nothing should be forgive, Enzan-sama."

Enzan smiled.

It was really _unwanted forgiveness_. The _wanted one_ was warm, kind feelings, and _honesty_ to the others. All of your friends want you to open your heart. If you tell your _true friend_ about your true feeling honestly, _sorry_ is _not needed to say _anymore.

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_As usual, please read, review, and correct my error _


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